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標題:

can you accept couples without child--childfree

發問:

i am 44,married 4 years,husband 56,both first marriage,and now we have big conflicts in child birth matters. He thinks having kid is a crucial experience for life,but I really cannot force myself to carry such big responsibility. Can you accept my thinking?or will you force me as his family members?

最佳解答:

I'd like to raise several points here. 1. childfree is quite common now in Hong Kong. But the senior always hope that they will have grandchild. Bearing a child is a "crucial experience", but it is also a "big responsibility. It is difficult to deal with children nowaday, which might beyond your imagination. -_- 2. Besides, being pregnant at 44 may be too demanding. (a bit dangerous). You ask such question, reflects that you are not prepared to have a child both mentally and (maybe) physically. 3. Your husband is 56, when the child is 14, he is alrealy 70. Does he think he is energetic enough to take care of the child ? 4. Have you done the body check? Please also ask for your doctor's opinion. If he/she also thinks it isnt physically suitable for you to give birth, then, you will have a strong reason and explain it to your husband. 5. Does your husband have enough money for retirement, contingency , and the expense on child. Hopefully, you two will reach a consensus on this matter very soon. ^-^

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其他解答:

These are the critical questions you need to consider: 1. Finance - a. Your regualr monthly income and savings. If the steady income can cover all your expenses including a good education for the child, considering your husband is close to the retirement age. b. Contingencies - have you coverage to provide the expenses for the upkeep of your child and familiy should anyone of you become seriously ill. 2. Health - Do you have enough energy to take care of each other and spare enough time to bring up the child. Considering your husband is 56 and you are 44, even if you get pregnant immediately you will be 79 and 67 respectively when your child will complete the university education and become independent. 3. Value of life - many couple choose not to have children because they don't want to have someone dragging their feet although the majority choose to have children. The alternative is to adopt a child from the orphanage.
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